Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
