She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
