just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
