what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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