Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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