Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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