Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
