Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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