dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
