Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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