I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
