Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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