Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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