Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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