This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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