I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Drake has all the answers
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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