Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's shark week go big or go home
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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