I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
