and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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