Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
