Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
