Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
