Everything about him screamed your future.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
