i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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