I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
