I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
