Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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