i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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