you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
