Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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