Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
