Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
