You can't special order awesome
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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