pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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