There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
