Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
