well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
