so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
