ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
