Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
