I want to make a zoo with you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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