just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
