Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
