i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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