He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
