At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
