Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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