2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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