Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
