I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My feet surprised me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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