I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
