I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He shit in the fireplace
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
