do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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